Apriclots - Molly

Still bleeding. A lot.

Last night I was up for about 3 hours with horrible cramps. 

I passed about 4 apricot sized clots, and some smaller ones (think blackberry).

I like to call them "apriclots".

It was the cramping that really had me worried. I took some Tylenol and finally after 4am, fell asleep. Around 5 or 6am, I woke up in a panic. 

My mind was racing. I just kept thinking, "what if one of those apriclots was the baby?" "Did I check the toilet?" "What if in my next ultrasound the baby is gone?"

 I couldn't go back to sleep. Those thoughts just lingered in my mind and into the morning. I tried to rationalize, "feel" for symptoms, but at 14 weeks (today) I am feeling better (minus the bleeding and clotting). The baby bump isn't really even noticeable yet. I just look (and feel) soft. 

So I started to worry. And once that started, I couldn't stop.

I felt haunted all morning. So I called the doctor to have me come in for reassurance. 

I already have an appointment set for Friday, just to get me through the weekend, but I couldn't get over the cramping and the clotting. So I went in.

Bat is fine. Ticking away in there with a heart rate of 166. 

And they still have no real idea of where the bleeding is coming from. There is nothing in the ultrasound would suggest that I would or could have this much bleeding and/or clotting. But miraculously, it is not hurting the baby.

So I just have to wait it out.

I feel frazzled. 

I am tired (emotionally, not physically).

And I had to buy pads today at Wal-Mart. 

Awesome.

I got the box of 52 pads. Should last me about 10 days.