Monday, December 12, 2011

To our family, friends & readers: Haylee

Since the blog launch Molly & I have noticed when we are talking to people and their kid(s) come up 2 things are happening…. 
They are both little angels & devils!

1.  If they are bitching about their maniac of a child they are quick look at us and stop. 
2.  If they are raving about how amazing their kid(s) are, yes, that’s right they see us and stop. 

What we want you to know is that it is OK to bitch and rave about your kid(s) in our presence.  We welcome it all, the good, the bad and the ugly.  Just because you know we are dealing with infertility issues now, closing us out of your life with your children only takes us both back to square one when only a few people knew about our issues with getting pregnant.  So again, we feel shut out.  Talk to us about whatever!  Not to mention you lovely ladies with kids WILL be the people we reach out to when our future punk rocker(s) are acting up!  haha

I cannot leave out my pity party this weekend…  Being restricted from some of the things I love for the next 2 weeks is really hard for me.  It makes me pissy.  I think about most “normal” chicks that are able to just get pregnant & the fact they have these 2 weeks (and in many cases more than these 2 weeks) to still play.  So, yes, I don’t think it is fair that I have to ACT like I am pregnant but have ZERO idea.  For me it is like driving a car with a blindfold on (sounds fun, right? HA!). 

Here are just a couple examples from the weekend: 

My husband went snowboarding on Saturday and I got so cranky.  Not at him (he did a wonderful job taking care of me this weekend), but just the pity party thing.  I love snowboarding, I wanted to go too!  When I ordered my DECAF Skinny Vanilla Latte I got all grumpy again (good news though, it was still really delish). 

Then I said to myself “why are you having this pity party you idiot” (and I know I am not the only crazy person reading that has full on conversations in her head!). 
But then I thought again.  It is also OK for me to have a pity party every now and again and for no one to judge me or cast stones given my situation.  Trust me I am grateful, but this process and the not knowing is so very hard given our track record with unexplained infertility.  I am a need to know NOW type girl, not in 2 weeks.


Carrie said...

As I stand here reading this for my future friend Haylee, I can't help but remember where you are. Every tear I shed, every drug I injected, every moment I spent wondering and worrying if I would ever get my miracle, all led me here to you and I sincerly hope I can be to you what you need to keep positive on your journey.

Jimmy and Alison said...

I totally get this ! Hang in there

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you, Haylee and wishing for the best for you & Joe in 2012!! You so deserve it! Keenan :)