Showered with Love

Last weekend my girlfriends from my days past all gathered together in Utah to throw me a beautiful baby shower.

My heart was so full as I got to reconnect with an absolute band of gorgeous, smart, fierce, determined, intelligent, funny and headstrong women.

We all met at some time in the early 2000's at the Stanford Young Single Adult Ward in Palo Alto, CA. For those non-Mormons out there, this a gathering of single adults ages 22-35 that all attend church together. Even though we were divided by age groups, we all still managed to cross each others paths over the years. Majority of us were roommates at some point, in some combination. But we all have been there for each other through the best of times, the worst of times and all the times in between.

Whether it was crying over a stupid boy into a bowl of Funfetti cake batter or celebrating a new job or successful date, we were there for each other. We took trips together. And slowly one by one, we all moved on in some way to some place for some reason.

Best years of my life.

I have always felt that those years made me who I am. But they also saved me from who I was almost going to be. And what has emerged - is a ME that I am proud of. A faithful daughter of my Heavenly Father, a strong women inside and out, and a hopeful person.

How lucky I felt to have so many travel near and far to celebrate this momentous occasion in my life. I was extremely humbled that they took the time to not only plan my shower, but that they took time away from their jobs, family, social lives to attend. 

It was such a joyous day.

Sadly I didn't take any pics myself.

Luckily, they did.

I don't think I will ever be able to fully express what it really meant to me to have these ladies shower me with love.

I never thought I would have a baby shower.
And as happy as I was that day, I did feel a shred of sadness.

Sad that my infertility made me put distance in some of these relationships.
Sad that I missed out on many of their momentous occasions because I was too sad or hurt to really celebrate them.

Sad that I let my own trials and struggles have so much control over my feelings and emotions. I wished I could have been better than that. I should have been stronger than that.

I feel that I have missed so much.
I don't want to miss any more.

So I hope that this one day is just the beginning.

The beginning of new chapters for all of us. Chapters I want to be present in and will be present in no matter what happens.

Because I know these women would do the same for me. They have done that already.

I have never felt more loved and supported as I did in that room on that day.

My heart is truly full.


Thank you my dear wonderful friends.