Saturday, March 9, 2013

Oversteppin' - Molly

I hope by now you have noticed that you can pretty much ask me anything. I have no secrets, no real boundaries and I feel very comfortable with my heart on my sleeve (and on the Internet).

I have absolutely loved the comments, messages and emails regarding my last few posts. It feels nice to be understood, supported and cared for.

Recently I received a sweet message from someone close to us asking about our thoughts on surrogacy or gestational carriers. She was afraid she was "overstepping".

Since the "A" word has already been hashed out, I realized this was a great detour into another post and to discuss the option of using another oven for our buns.

After we lost Grace, I wanted to head straight to a gestational carrier. I was so disappointed in my body and lacked so much faith in myself that I just didn't want to do it anymore. I wanted a guarantee and I wanted someone else to do the work.

Dr. Schoolcraft had also advised us that a GC would be the best way to go to. But in the end, he said it was our decision.

That was around August.

I got a bit pushy with the idea after that. And I soon realized that not everyone agreed with me.

It wasn't until I start looking both sides, really looking, that I realized a GC isn't the easy answer to our problem.

Since Grace, many people have offered to do this for me.
And every offer and gesture has softened my heart, bestilled my soul and humbled every inch of me.

But there are so many things to consider...on both sides.

First, $$$$.

Guilana and Bill (famous couple on E!) used a service here in Denver (provided by Dr. Schoolcraft) Cost of her GC (well of that service) $60K. I am sure she paid more due to TV, privacy and celebrity status.

(at least!)

Next, using a family member or friend.

But, what if they miscarry?
How will that make them feel?
How would I feel?
Would our relationship change?

Last, the safety of our GC.

What if they get hurt during the process?
What if she gets put on bed rest?
What if she loses a tube, her uterus or even her life?

Gestational carriers are the perfect storm of baby makers. But even then, things can go wrong.
It's a dangerous game that I do not know if I want to ask people to play the game or even know the players in the game.

It's not a small favor to ask for. It's not a simple task to take on.

There is risk.

But there is also reward.

And if I could...

I know I would.
But I don't expect it...from anyone.
When we get to this bridge (if we get to this bridge), we will figure out how to cross it.
Until then...we are going to hope and pray my body can accomplish this giant feat.

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