Friday, March 1, 2013

My #1 - Molly

I like to take Penny out to Boulder a few times to week to walk/run/hike with her friends. It's always a red dog party out on the trails and I love catching up with some good friends as we go. I don't listen to the radio much anymore as I drive. I rather listen to FOXNEWS or HEADLINE NEWS as I drive. And lately, I have been sucked into the Jodi Arias Trial. Riveting. I am completely fascinated. When I get home, I turn on the TV and continue to follow the testimonies.

But today as I drove, they cut to some other newsworthy stories. One being the comments that Guiliana Rancic recently made about "putting her husband and marriage first, then her baby Duke second". People are outraged that she has made these comments.

See article/story here.

They took a poll to see how many people agreed and disagreed with her comments. Surprisingly, it was a pretty even divide. As they were fielding callers, I started to notice a theme in the callers that disagreed with her or shall I say the callers that were "disgusted" that she doesn't put her child first.

The "beef" of these callers were that she should put her child first because she struggled so much to bring him into this world. She resorted to infertility and a gestational carrier and should consider herself so "lucky" to have had a baby. Her baby, because he was such a miracle, should be more important to Guiliana than Bill and their marriage.

I was turned off my there statements.

I happen to agree with Guiliana 100%. A good marriage, a happy marriage is the cornerstone of a happy family. Yes, her child is a blessing. A miracle. But without the love and support of her husband, she wouldn't have what she has now.

I think that it is extremely important for children to see a loving, supportive, affectionate relationship between their parents. I think it creates security, confidence and healthy relationships as the child grows up.

I think "infertility" should have nothing to do with it.
Whether you have struggled or not, it does not make your child any less significant. Nor does it make your spouse any less significant.

My relationship with Jason has strengthened so much because of our struggles. And if we overcome this struggle, we know there will be more to come through out our lives, so it is important to continue to build our relationship and spend quality time together.

Without him, I would have not survived this journey.
It is because of his faith, his strength, his optimism and he unconditional love that I have been able to pick up the pieces and try again.

So ladies, give your husband an extra big hug tonight. Snuggle them a little bit tighter. Hire a babysitter and make the time to enjoy each other as a couple. Your relationship is the most important thing for yourselves and your children. And your children need to know, need to see the love, the friendship and the bond that you share have.

Jason will always be my #1.
He is my best friend.

I hope we are lucky enough to love a child as much as we have loved each other.
And I would not trade the past 5 years of struggle for anything in the world.
We are stronger, more loving couple because of it.
And one day, our child/children will know how hard WE fought to bring them into the world.

night we got engaged


Kailey said...

Totally agree with her! Our church's marriage conference about 2 years ago was about putting the marriage first, among other things. It was fantastic.

Thanks for posting!

Tanika Rice said...

So true!

Lisa said...

AMEN!!! I 100% agree...your spouse should always be your #1! It's SO important for children to see. I will never forget hearing my dad say "I will not allow you to speak to MY WIFE that way". It had WAY more impact then prior times when he said "your mother" instead of "my wife". Good for Guiliana! And good for you!

Laura said...

Great post! I agreed with her too when I read about that, but I was shocked by how many people did not agree and criticized her for saying that. It is amazing how people can be so quick to judge others when they have no idea what those people have been through.

While actual infertility may have nothing to do with it, maybe the journey we have had to go through as a couple may impact why we think this way? I know infertility is very hard on marriages, but we are so much closer than I ever thought we could be because of it. All of these battles my husband and I are fighting together right now are taking our marriage to a whole new level. We get closer with each day that passes. We have been pushed, and tested, and I have developed a deeper love and respect for him throughout this process. He will always be my #1 as well, and I will never feel bad about saying that!

Have a great weekend! :)

Megan Brink said...

This is probably one of my favorite posts (and reminders :)) yet!

RC Cola said...

Love this post, so true.