Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The "A" Word - Molly

Here it is, almost 9 am and I feel that I need to back up my last post a bit. A long night of constant thinking has led me to believe that I need to "explain" myself a bit more.

The "A" word.


Here is me, explaining myself...

I know that a family can consist of many different equations. A family does not have to be biological, genetic or birthed. A family does not have to have matching smiles, walks or hair color. A family does not consist of parents and infants.

A family is made from love. Out of want, righteous desire and sacrifice.
And nowadays, a family can come out of nowhere, from anywhere, to anyone. It's pretty amazing.

So when I was asked, "Do you have to physically give birth to be a mother?" I know what the reader was implying.

Just adopt.

It's that "just" that I stumble over.
It is the "just" that makes me pause.

And as I have said before, we are working on some other options at the moment (frozen embryos).

EVERYBODY (yes, I have heard it for the past 5 years - from MANY) says, "The moment you fill out the paperwork" or "once you bring your adopted baby home" or "just once you start the process"......yadda, yadda, yadda..."you will get pregnant."

I truly admire those who want to adopt and have adopted. I have seen their families and have felt the love that they share. Their family is not defined by blood or genes. It is just defined through honest, true, heartfelt love.

But for me, for us - we don't want to "just fill out paperwork" or "just bring a baby/child home" in hopes that "we will get pregnant". The two cannot be mutually exclusive. I cannot enter into adoption with the hopes of having a biological child.
For me, that is not true love.

And adoption is not "fool-proof".
It can take years.
And sometimes when you think it has worked out, the situation can change.
Your heart can still get broken.
And it is as equally as expensive.

I am not saying we would never adopt.
For now, it is an option that is farther down the road.

If this is what the Lord has planned for us, I hope that He continues to prepare my heart.


Josh Bingham said...

What a beautiful post. As someone who was adopted at birth (along with my twin brother) I wanted to tell you that you treated the subject with maturity and an explanation of feelings that made PERFECT sense to me.

Thanks for your wonderful blog. I have become a fervent reader of every post.

Thanks Molly.

Jodi and TJ said...

Josh's coment was very touching-Molly, it amazes me how many people's lives you have affected through your openess about your journey dealing with infertility. Thanks for being so loving and honest.