Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Terms of Endearment - Molly

My dad is in town.
Today I got him all to myself.
And since I am limited in my activities, we just enjoyed the day together - it was nice.

It's no surprise that I ADORE my dad.
In fact, A LOT of people ADORE my dad.
He's just one of those people that you flock towards.

circa 2004
Today at lunch we were talking and he reminded me of a story from when I was little.
My dad is southern and refers to all women (to their face) as "darling", "honey", "sweetheart" etc.

But he refers to my mother (who I also ADORE,) as "mama" or "mother".

He has always done this.

When I was little I grew a bit concerned always hearing him refer to other women with those terms of endearment, but yet my mother (the love of his life) was "mother"?

And I remember EXACTLY what he said to me when I explained to him that I was concerned/perplexed. 

He said, "The term mother or mama is the greatest term of endearment I could ever say. It is the greatest title or job you could ever have. There is no one more important to anyone than their mother (mama). And you mother is that to me."

My father does ADORE my mother over anyone else. 
They are M.F.E.O. 
(made for each other - does anyone else love Sleepless in Seattle?)

wedding 2007
Today as I listened to that story, it began to sum up the past 5 years of my life.

Mother is the most endearing name/title that one could ever be given. 
To be some one's mama is an honor, a gift, a blessing.

And it's what I want more than anything.
This is what we are working so hard for.
This is the one job, title, position - that I covet.

Someone recently asked me if I had to give physical birth to be considered a mother.

The answer is NO.

There is a but...

I am also not sure how far I will go to capture this title.
I turn 35 this year, my husband 39.
We still have 2 frozen embryos to "do something" with.
There are no guarantees with any option.
And all the options are pricey.
The longer this journey gets, the harder it is to keep moving forward.
Eventually, I have to give in.

And giving in, might be relinquishing this coveted role/title and possibly discovering it in some other way/form.

I don't know what our post IVF plans are. 
There are so many small steps in between.
Nothing is off the table.

For now, we are focusing on the present and our "possible pearl". 
We will figure out the rest...when it is time.

So, if you have been honored to be some one's mother or mama, please remember what a privilege, honor, blessing and gift it really is.

And it is because of how hard the job really is that makes it the greatest term of endearment.

So if your day was filled with tantrums, tears, poops, pee, spit, throw up, sticky fingers, snotty noses, smiles, giggles, hugs and kisses....

if someone was calling you "mama" or "mother" throughout it all....

you have truly been blessed.


Alice said...

I love this. It is good to be called mom, I love hearing it everyday (and laugh when my kids sometimes call me Alice.) I really hope that you'll have your very own to call you mom someday!

CAISA said...

Beck calls you mom.., "penny's mom". Read the talk a mothers heart...you've so got one!

Joy M. said...

thank you for this beautiful reminder. Your dad sounds like such a sweetheart. We love you guys and pray that your little pearl keeps on growing! :)

suzytag said...

I came across your blog through another friend of mine, this is the first time I have commented and I just wanted to tell you how totally brave I think you are. And I just loved this post. Your dad is awesome. Thanks for sharing his wisdom. You, your husband and your pup (we are dog LOVERS! Ours is a boxer named Nala) are in our thoughts and prayers.

Adele said...


I recently stumbled across your blog. I don't remember how I found it....clicked on the link from another blog I was reading, perhaps? In any case, I have read every entry you've made. While I haven't experienced what you have and are currently experiencing, my heart goes out to you and your husband. Your blog has opened my eyes (and hopefully others' as well) to the daily struggles and emotions involved in infertility. Since reading about your story, I have offered you up in prayer for your dreams to be fulfilled. Your most recent posting is absolutely beautiful. While I am unknown to you, I now feel like I know you and am rooting for you 100%. Thank you for finding the courage to tell your story. I hope to continue reading this up until the day you become a mother and thereafter. God Bless you and your husband.

Dan and Katie said...

You have me in tears this morning. I will let the constant Mom mom mom mom I hear from my almost three year old be extra special today. Thanks. I hope so badly for you Molly.

Laura said...

I agree with your dad about the mother title, he seems like a wise man. :)

Great post, it was very touching. That last sentence really hit home for me. You do such a great job at articulating thoughts and feelings that I also think about everyday, but often can't put into words. I have really benefited from your posts.

You, and your potential pearl continue to be in my prayers.

RC Cola said...

Molly, Someday when you do become a mother and I know you will, you will be the BEST mom ever. All of these challenging experiences you guys are going through now are only preparing you to be the best mother. You will appreciate and love every moment you have as a mother. You will have the patience and love you need to raise your children with love. You will have an advantage over those mothers who have not had these kinds of challenges because you have made the best of it, you have learned from it, and because you have become a better person because of it. I feel like my one miscarriage has given me a different perspective on life and my children and am thankful for that difficult experience in my life. I can only imagine what your experiences will do for you as a mother. Love you to pieces, you are always in my thoughts and prayer!