Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Never A Dull Moment - Molly

Never a dull moment in the life and times of Me. 

11 weeks and 6 days. That is where I am. 

I have been sort of freaked out since the whole low progesterone thing. I called my perinatologist this am to try to squeeze in a "reassurance appointment", but they were slammed and she told me to come Wednesday at 8am before the office opened. As much as I wanted to be seen, I was okay with waiting for the morning appointment.

So I ran errands. Then I went for my first swim of the summer. I paced myself, kept it simple, just enjoyed my time outside.

When I got home from the pool, I took my swimsuit off to discover a little spot.

It was small, but it was there.

So I wiped.

And there it was - pinky, red, browny orange. 

I freaked. 

I called the doctor and they told me to come in now for some reassurance. Jason drove me down and we were reassured.

The bat was well. Heartbeat was exactly where it should be and everything looked as it should. 

But I still am spotting. 

I hate this.

They think that possibly starting the progesterone suppositories might have irritated my cervix causing the bleeding. But, again, they are not 100% about anything. I am to monitor the bleeding and report back for my 12 week appointment on Thursday. Jason canceled his travel plans to make sure things slow down and get better with the next 24 hours. 

The nurses were very kind today, but they told me to "let go" of the idea of a normal pregnancy and to accept that "my" pregnancy will be different, but that they will monitor me as close as they can. 

So now I am analyzing every feeling inside my body. I am nervous every time I go to the bathroom to wipe. I am 12 weeks tomorrow. 12 weeks! 

I am just hoping and praying this little bat holds on and holds on tight. I am hoping and praying that this is our little bat that will stick around and allow us to meet them. 

I hate this.


Anonymous said...

It's ok. God gives us challenges, but nothing that we ever have to do alone. You are in my prayers. I also think you have one very special husband.

Alecia said...

Ugh. It's ok to not have a normal pregnancy--you can still have fabulous babies! There are a lot worse things to have than low testosterone, and that is something that can be supplemented, so yay for that! Prayers your way... xo

Jimmy and Alison said...

Hang in there. Don't read forums about spotting, don't panic if you know there is a heart beat. Nothing and everything is normal all at once in this scary time. I'm 17 weeks yesterday and still check for bleeding out of fear daily. Deep breath !!!!!

Anonymous said...

I hope and pray that everything works out for you. We all face our challenges...unfortunately for both of us it is ivf and all the scary things that go with it.

Jenny's friend

Devon T. said...

I hope everything is ok. Still sending out good thoughts to you and the baby bat.

I realize it must be really hard for you to be so inactive, but it's only for a little while. I'm glad everything looked good on the ultra-sound.

Katie said...

Gah! scary!

Call me any time you need me...seriously!

Olivia Stipe Manke said...

Hang in there Molly! Your annoymous poster is correct -- God gives us many challenges in life but we never have to take them on alone.

It's okay to grieve for what might have been. I understand how you feel about wanting to be a normal pregnant person.

Continued prayers for you and your little bat.

Alice said...

I say relax (even thought I know it's super hard to) and read books, watch movies and sleep! Because you won't get do to that once the baby comes...You'll just want to stare at your baby all the time! Good luck! You are strong...pass that onto your baby and keep it strong!