Meet Haylee's Uterus....the surgeries

To back up I think it is important to explain the surgeries I had to go through.  It is crazy to think Joe and I started this journey of having a baby in 2009.  With it almost being 2012 I sit back and realize some of my friends now have up to 4 kids.  It just puts the time into prospective because it is so easy to go on "auto pilot" when dealing with infertility issues.  Everything just begins to blur together.  This appointment, that appointment the do's, the don'ts, the times, the yes', the no's...etc.  Here are “highlights” from the surgeries.

Uterine Septum

I was diagnosed with a Large Uterine Septum, (I am not doctor therefore do not expect me to talk in any type of professional terms) basically my uterus was shaped like bunny ears.  Oh how cute...  NOT.  The uterus is supposed to be shaped like a roomy, spacious upside down triangle.  What this meant was there was no way without surgery Joe and I could have ever gotten pregnant.


The surgery would consist of making a 1 to 2 inch incision right above the bikini line  (cutting through the stomach muscles) to access the girly parts and going in through the vagina- along with pumping gas into the uterine cavity to create more space for them to work on the uterus.  Once in the uterus would be sliced to create that spacious triangle shape.  You may ask, how is this possible? Well, after the slicing and dicing is done they insert this triangle shaped BALLOON into the uterus.  The balloon then makes a home there for 10 days (important to note it also has a tail- don’t all balloons?).  Dr. M said the surgery would take around 2 hours, I would get to go home after I woke up, recovery shouldn’t be too bad (about 4 to 6 total weeks) and then I should be fixed.  Hooray!  Let’s do it!

Here is what happened:
I had to start hormones before the surgery- estrogen and provera, this was my first stint with hormones.  Holy crap, my poor husband.  He could say “hi” wrong and my reaction would range from crying to yelling to not talking.  It was pretty intense and I hated every moment of it.  Fast forward to surgery day in the hospital going over last minute details with Dr. M:
-Do not be alarmed if your left or right shoulders have a lot of pain after surgery this is just the gas exiting.  Um, ok?  This is weird it would pick a shoulder, but whatever, I went with it.
-In the case I started to lose too much blood during surgery, Joe, can you authorize Haylee getting a transfusion.  WTF, I thought this was a in and out type deal!  haha
-You might be able to feel the balloon, it may cause cramping and it is possible that the tail may fall out.  In the case the tail comes out just have Joe stick it back in.  ARE YOU F-ing KIDDING ME?  This is where I drew the line.  Joe really doesn’t need to know my girly parts that well.  Ew. 

Off to surgery I went!
Given my recent incredible luck I had a terrible reaction to the anesthesia and pain medication combo.  They admitted me to the hospital for the night.  When I came to the shoulder pain was extreme, my girly parts hurt & I had to go to the restroom- pee.  This led to Joe having to unhook me from all the machines and walk me to the restroom every 15 minutes-  I am not even kidding.  It was awful.  Not to mention I couldn’t move any faster than turtle speed from the meds & pain.  When I wasn’t peeing I was out.  The next morning I felt better and they released me. 

Fast forward- Balloon removal day!  Woohoo!  Dr. M said everything looked like it was healing nicely.  She told me to cough as hard as I could and then proceeded to RIP the balloon out of my vagina.  Fffff???  Couldn’t you think of a more humane way to remove this thing?  Hurt like hell.  She told me that for the next 3 weeks Joe and I could have sex but it had to be condom sex.  Wait, what?  The news just keeps getting “better”!  Condom sex with my husband?  Yep!  Lucky us.  Guess this is standard because you don’t want to take a chance getting pregnant while the uterus was still healing.

Week 4 in office check up.  Gas was injected into my uterus so Dr. M could get the full view.  This time the gas started to exit almost immediately out my shoulder.  A lot of pain.  She looked for awhile and then told me to sit up.  I knew from the look on her face something wasn’t right.  The surgeries didn’t work and I require another surgery.  Tears.  The next surgery was scheduled (hysteroscopy only).
I left her office and cried more. 

5 weeks later surgery 3.  Dr. M is confident this is it and though reluctant, we believe her.  After all, she is one of the best infertility doctors in the US.  People fly from all over the world to see her. 

Highlights:
-Surgery went well and it didn’t take nearly as long since it was one procedure
-I was able to go home though really groggy and remember nothing about the drive (I do remember it was snowing).
-The balloon they inserted this time was much bigger so the cramping and pain was much more obvious.

Once again, my amazing husband took really good care of me and luckily this time it was from our own home! 

Same details as above for recovery weeks, balloon removal deets and that amazing condom sex. 

The best result of this final surgery was success!  No more surgeries required!  Bring on the clomid and sexy time (this means no condom sex)!  :)

Now, for those of you that have ever thought we don’t want or like kids, you now know a TINY bit of what Joe and I have been going through since 2009.