Here is what happened:
I had to start hormones before the surgery- estrogen and provera, this was my first stint with hormones. Holy crap, my poor husband. He could say “hi” wrong and my reaction would range from crying to yelling to not talking. It was pretty intense and I hated every moment of it. Fast forward to surgery day in the hospital going over last minute details with Dr. M:
-Do not be alarmed if your left or right shoulders have a lot of pain after surgery this is just the gas exiting. Um, ok? This is weird it would pick a shoulder, but whatever, I went with it.
-In the case I started to lose too much blood during surgery, Joe, can you authorize Haylee getting a transfusion. WTF, I thought this was a in and out type deal! haha
-You might be able to feel the balloon, it may cause cramping and it is possible that the tail may fall out. In the case the tail comes out just have Joe stick it back in. ARE YOU F-ing KIDDING ME? This is where I drew the line. Joe really doesn’t need to know my girly parts that well. Ew.
Off to surgery I went!
Given my recent incredible luck I had a terrible reaction to the anesthesia and pain medication combo. They admitted me to the hospital for the night. When I came to the shoulder pain was extreme, my girly parts hurt & I had to go to the restroom- pee. This led to Joe having to unhook me from all the machines and walk me to the restroom every 15 minutes- I am not even kidding. It was awful. Not to mention I couldn’t move any faster than turtle speed from the meds & pain. When I wasn’t peeing I was out. The next morning I felt better and they released me.
Fast forward- Balloon removal day! Woohoo! Dr. M said everything looked like it was healing nicely. She told me to cough as hard as I could and then proceeded to RIP the balloon out of my vagina. Fffff??? Couldn’t you think of a more humane way to remove this thing? Hurt like hell. She told me that for the next 3 weeks Joe and I could have sex but it had to be condom sex. Wait, what? The news just keeps getting “better”! Condom sex with my husband? Yep! Lucky us. Guess this is standard because you don’t want to take a chance getting pregnant while the uterus was still healing.
Week 4 in office check up. Gas was injected into my uterus so Dr. M could get the full view. This time the gas started to exit almost immediately out my shoulder. A lot of pain. She looked for awhile and then told me to sit up. I knew from the look on her face something wasn’t right. The surgeries didn’t work and I require another surgery. Tears. The next surgery was scheduled (hysteroscopy only).
I left her office and cried more.
5 weeks later surgery 3. Dr. M is confident this is it and though reluctant, we believe her. After all, she is one of the best infertility doctors in the US. People fly from all over the world to see her.
-Surgery went well and it didn’t take nearly as long since it was one procedure
-I was able to go home though really groggy and remember nothing about the drive (I do remember it was snowing).
-The balloon they inserted this time was much bigger so the cramping and pain was much more obvious.