Days Of Our Lives.... Haylee

This entry is not entirely from me- and if it wasn’t posted anonymous I would totally give the person credit.

My personal comments are inserted in parenthesis. 
Though I am in between cycles awaiting our next IUI, here it is and here is what many of us dealing with infertility issues go through each month.

Finding out you got your period, again:
Step 1: Expect arrival of your period (trust me, you are on a strict schedule and know)

Step 2: Check toilet paper hourly (or in between teaching)

Step 3: Feel slightly hopeful when your period is 30 minutes late (wait it is 30 minutes early, 30 minutes late, crap-  better check my calendar again or call Molly)

Step 4: Keep checking toilet paper hourly (or in between meetings)

Step 5: Light spotting

Step 6: Insert swear word (for me easy, the F word for sure or maybe a combo of some swear words I like to make up)

Step 7: Begin crying on the toilet (though I have never quite found myself here, I do move AWAY from the toilet before a big cry and say more curse words)

Step 8: Random thoughts include: “is this really my period or is it implantation bleeding?”
Step 9: You still remain 1% hopeful but you just know it’s over
Step 10: Check toilet paper again
Step 11: Bleeding gets heavier. Sobbing and runny nose begins.

Step 12: You don’t have any tampons or pads because you refused to buy them last month. (I tried this “method” 2 months in a row- EPIC FAIL) Run to store (or in my case, check luggage there is always that emergency “just in case it happens” pack there).
Step 13: Another pair of underpants ruined.  (This has honestly never happened to me, thank God).

Step 14: More tears and increased moodiness begins. Husband doesn’t understand why you’re crying on the toilet seat.  (Trust me, I have moved from the toilet seat, he is home by now and I am just a hot mess, he knows).

Step 15: Call fertility clinic and sob into the phone… “Hi, it’s Infertile (insert your name). I’m calling on my Day One….”  (By the way, the “day 1” call is always totally shitty)

Step 16: Screw you, Folic Acid pills. You are not taking any this week (for me I never stopped the vitamins, folic acid, prenatal pills etc etc)

Step 17: Buy a large decaf highly caffeinated coffee, chocolate and a bottle of wine. Enjoy (no chocolate for me, just Starbucks latte and wine- yum)

Repeat next month.
The Period. Punctuation for the end but also meaning a new beginning and starting fresh.

No more “fresh starts”, please and thanks