Wednesday, November 30, 2011

DISCLAIMER - We are not special- Love H & M

Before we go any further with this crazy blog, we wanted to point out one thing.


Our stories, our "issues". They are not special. Our feelings and our frustrations, they too, are not special. But we are different. We are unlike others. 

The feedback we have received has been tremendous. There has been so much love and support. There has been genuine hope for our successes. We are truly grateful for the open hearts our blog has been received with. Each story, comment and thumbs up means so much to us and it will help us continue this crazy, irrational journey.

Haylee-  I have never felt special I just felt cursed because I waited until later in life to get married,  because we waited to start trying, because I focused on my career, because damnit, I wanted to have some fun….. because, because, because... you get it.

When I met Molly and found out her infertility “secret” I thought "how can I tell her anything that I am going through"??  I mean come on.  She has been pregnant (3 times!!), she has gone through so much more than I can even imagine.  So, for awhile I was hesitant about how much I told her and how much I talked when she asked me questions.  I was quick to switch the subject back to her.  As our friendship grew it just became second nature to put it all out there.  It wasn’t about whose story was worse or how much time has been spent.  It is about no matter where you are in your journey to have a baby, each of us has something amazing to share.  Whether you are at step one of fertility testing or going on 10 years of issues, our hearts go out to all of you dealing with any type of baby making issues.  Unless of course you are on crack.  You already know how I feel about the fertile crackhead population.....  

Molly- Reading Haylee's thoughts makes me love and appreciate her even more. Amidst what she was going through, her private battle, she was worried about me. She wanted to see me succeed. To turn it all around, my thoughts when I first met and spoke with her were, "at least I know I can get pregnant. How hard must it be to live in a world of unknown." I felt she deserved the success of a pregnancy more to get her the relief that her body would overcome and that the steps she had taken were not in vain.  In yoga we preach constantly that "it's not about the destination, but the journey". This journey is never the same for anyone. There is no black and white, just pools and pools of gray. 

Anyone who is in the crazy infertility boat with us knows that we each have to find our way to get there. For some, it will be longer, harder, more expensive and more emotional. For others, it might be the flip of a switch. One person is not more special than the other. We are just different. But it is up to us to see those differences and to support them. To be there as a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and some arms to hug. To want and have a child is a divine and righteous desire. And we want, I want, everyone who has this desire to succeed. To be given this chance. My journey might take a while. And it's time I accept that.

We are not special. And we are okay with that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

but you are special. what you're going through certainly doesn't seem special, but how you're being so open with what you're going through- how you've invited all of your friends, families and even now some strangers in to your lives so that they may follow, embrace and live these struggles with you.
it definitely takes a special person to be this open, to be this vulnerable, to be so inviting.
through your blog you're already touching so many people. women that you may or may not know who are struggling with infertility are now bonded to you. you're giving them hope and they are in turn praying for both of you. both are VERY special.