I had planned to return to Denver and hit the ground running. Obviously, that plan has changed. There is good and bad in it.
The good - I am just nesting and hibernating with the babes. Even though Denver has had ridiculously beautiful weather, we take our time each day to feed, bathe, dress, feed, nap etc.....it is really freeing to not have anything (plans wise) over my head. I just have to take care of the babes, and myself of course.
More good - all of the people coming to meet the babes. It is like having them born all over again. It has been so much fun introducing them to people. So many friends walked beside me step for step of this journey. To see the "end result" is just magical. I get to feel the miracle of it all over and over again.
Surprisingly good? Not stressing about getting to the gym or studio etc. As much as I miss my workouts, I have a complete justifiable reason to why I cannot go. I need that in order to slow me down. Otherwise I carry tremendous guilt for not working out (I know, I need to work on that).
The bad, more bad and surprisingly bad - I am in serious pain. I have some good meds but I cannot take them because they will take me out of commission. Unfortunately, unlike times before, I don't have that option.
I feel like I had a vaginal delivery with this giant maxi-pad I'm hauling around. No position is comfortable. Everyone wants me to lay down, but there is too much to do. Laundry, feedings, cleaning and I am not tired....just in a lot of lower abdominal and back pain. Lots of tightness. Very similar to times before, but this time I can't just lay in bed and eat Mini Eggs. Sounds nice though.
I am hoping the worst is behind me and this week I can start getting back to normal. I am so grateful to have my mom here with us to help tag team. Jason has jumped right in and is rocking out the evenings with me. It truly takes a village.
That's a great way to describe it all.
Humbling is how it feels.
A not so gentle reminder that what I want, what I need is truly on the back burner.
And that is okay.
These little people make it so worth it.
I just wish I was 100% for them.
Until I am, I will push through.
I might have to lay down more and clean less, but that is okay.
It just means a lot more snuggling and asking for help.
I can do that.