BELIEVE

Yesterday we marked 14 weeks.

It's a huge milestone for me.

But I still am a bit apprehensive. I am still somewhat non-committal. 

Non-committal? What? "Bit too late to not commit Molly." 

You probably are saying this to yourself right now.

You see, this is my SCARY time.

I never made it past 16 weeks.

We lost Jack at 15 weeks and 6 days. 

We lost Grace at 14 weeks exactly.

We lost one at 10 weeks.

We lost a little boy at 8 weeks.

And we lost another one at 6 weeks.

This is my scary time.

My sweet sister-in-law, my angel, my hero gave me a gift on our transfer day.

She gave me a necklace with one word stamped on it.

BELIEVE.

 

That's been the hardest thing to do.

Believe that we made the right decision.

Believe that this is going to work.

Believe that I (we) are worthy of this blessing.

Believe that these two little spirits are the ones I will get to raise on this Earth.

Believe that Heavenly Father heard/hears my prayers.

Believe that THIS is finally it.

Thank goodness Ashley has more faith than anyone I know.
I am grateful for how deep her faith runs.

Her faith, her belief - in all of this - is what has carried me this far.

But I am starting to find my legs again.
I am finally starting to stand - on my own faith, my own belief...

I know Heavenly Father has a plan for us.

I know we have been guided to this point and that He will continue to guide us, ME...

I am choosing to BELIEVE.