I was sitting in sacrament meeting this morning when the doctor called.
It was about 10:40am.
It was way too early to have gotten a phone call.
I rushed out of the chapel and let the nurse tell me the news.
"Congratulations. You are pregnant."
Tears immediately filled my eyes.
I was a bit surprised at my level of emotions.
I ducked into a bathroom only to have a small knock behind me.
It was Jason.
I opened the door and gave him a big smile and yet he was still unsure of what I was smiling about.
I reassured him.
This could actually be it.
I realized that it is not the worst I am fearing.
It is the best I am afraid of.
I have been in these shoes before.
And I am not waiting for the other shoe to drop, it's more like I am waiting for the shoes to stay on.
I am not sure what is more scary.
That I could, we could go through all the pain and trauma again?
Or that we might actually get our wish?
One step at a time.
Tuesday I go in again for more blood.
My HCG has to increase by 66% at least.
So for now, it's a small win, but it's still a win to me.