Monday, February 25, 2013

Unattached - Molly

Tomorrow marks another hurdle.
Another blood test.
Another beta.

I am still very wary of the results.
I am not swayed, by any means, that all is well.
I am not expecting bad news - let's just say I am prepared for it.

A lot of people have asked how I am feeling.
And the best answer to that question is...


I still have no real expectations.
I no how it could end.
Been there, done that.
What I don't know is what it would be like to actually go the distance.

Therefore, I am still unattached to this pregnancy.
Every small hurdle makes it a bit more real and more exciting.
But it also reveals how far I actually have to go.

You could say I am "under promising so I can over deliver".
This helps makes the high points a little bit more high.
And the low points a bit easier to swallow.

If all goes well tomorrow, they will schedule an ultrasound for next week.
To me, that's a huge hurdle.

So for now...
more blood.
And hopefully and ultrasound to follow.

Until then...
day by day.
Step by step.
Hurdle by hurdle.

The Lord will take care of me.
He always does.


Jill said...

I say this in all seriousness -- you just described my dating life and view of marriage.

Thinking of you and praying.

Best, Jill

Devon T. said...

Will be thinking of you and the little pearl. I'm anxious for you to start the Lovenox. I know it's not always the answer, but I've just read so many success stories. I'm really hoping this is IT for you guys. Will be sending good thoughts all day/week/year. . .forever. Love you!

Laura said...

I completely understand why you would feel this way. Especially having been down this road before, you have a better understanding of how there are still many possible outcomes. You are just trying to protect yourself as much as possible, I have a feeling I would be the same way. I can't wait to hear how the blood went. Still sending prayers your way! :)