Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Just One Voice - Molly

Last week I asked for personal stories of the battle of infertility. I woke up one morning with a few in my inbox. Each story only reminded me that infertility strikes in so many different ways. It can hit the strongest of people, both men and women. It affects marriages. It looms over the unmarried and it even can play games with those who do have children.

The definition of infertility (according to CCRM) is trying to conceive (actively trying) a child for over a year (if you are under 35 years of age) and for 6 months (if you are over 35 years of age).

That's sort of scary.

Most issues can be solved. 

Sometimes it takes a simple intervention like medications, stimulation, change of diet or just a little bit more time.

Then there are the issues that are unexplained. 
Like me.

And like this woman.

I'm 31 and did everything right. I was on BC until I got married to amazing man. Immediately after I stopped BC (birth control) with hopes for immediate conception. We traveled, vacationed, partied, enjoyed life, and then bought a home. We tried for 16 months before seeking an RE's (reproductive endocrinologist) help. She says everything looks perfect - blood work, HSG, FSH, SA. It's all amazing and in some case off the charts.  Diagnosis: Unexplained infertility.  
We did one IUI in the midst of renovating a new house and living temporarily with my in-laws. BFN (big fat negative).
We've told no one. We are completely alone in IF. I personally think it's hard enough for me and my husband to digest a negative result. I can't imagine having to tell my parents/family or his that our medical interventions didn't work.

It's just too much for me. I'm extremely successful and we live a comfortable life that people already judge. Like we already have so much - So WE chose to be only a solo team charting this course together.

If I hear relax, take a vacation, don't think about it or get drunk and just do "it" one more time - I might scream. Unknown to friends and family, nearly two years into infertility treatments no one knows but us. It's just easier this way because people don't know what to say/do in the face of something out of our control.

Going for IUI #2 in January.
Prayers for all us TTC (trying to conceive) girls!

It takes courage to write this. It takes courage to allow me to post it. 
It sounds all to familiar.

If this is your voice, your story, now you know you are not alone.

I wish her (them) the best of luck on their journey.
And I hope for them, just like I hope for so many and how so many hope for me (us).

This is just one of many stories.

*If you would like to share your story, please email me at stillnotpregnant@gmail.com
I will be posting them throughout January.

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