Gut Check - Molly

Here we are less than 3 weeks until our transfer date.

Gut check time. 

(well, early gut check time)

This past weekend Jason swept me away to Scottsdale for a work trip.

The sunshine, quiet, peace - did me good.

I was thinking about everything, but not actually thinking about everything (that make sense?).

Four days by the pool, well, it's good for you.

While I was by the pool, my little patch of estrogen was along for the ride.

And it just hit me.

And my little white flag started to raise.

I am so done with this.

 

Done with shots, patches, appointments, blood draws, tests, ups, downs, calendars, charting, drugs, pills, vitamins......

I am not giving up hope or looking for praise (or sympathy).

And we are not canceling this cycle.

I just realized...that I am done.

Or I am ready....to be done.

I have a wonderful life.

I have an exquisite husband, who is my best friend, the love of my life and who cares for me more than I could ever ask for.

I have good friends, loving family, a fun job and...

a gorgeous pup who I am crazy for.

 

 

 

I am going to give this round my all, my best, my everything.

 

But I am not going to let this struggle, this trial, steal my identity.

 

Jason and I have our "plan" if it works, if it doesn't.

We know our next steps.

We support each other in those next steps.

But I am not going beat myself up anymore.

I am going to smile.

I am going to laugh.

I am going to enjoy my life....

all of my life.

 

I look forward to the next few weeks. 

I am looking forward to this transfer.

And I have faith that Heavenly Father has a plan for me, for us and our family.

 

Gut check time.