Friday, November 2, 2012

Grateful and Thankful Day 2 - Molly

Today, November 2nd, I am grateful for friends and friendships.

I am thankful for old relationships and new ones, distant and close ones.

I am very blessed to be surrounded by a very strong, very positive and supportive community.

But it must be very hard to be my friend.
 I know I don't make it easy. 
I know it can be difficult to navigate my moods or feelings (on any given day). 
And I know that I have put more distance between us and even lost some friendships.

But I realize that some friends/friendships have a given place, time and purpose. 
But I do hope that somehow, someday I can repair these friendships. 
Because I truly do miss those friends.

So today...

Today I became a bit more aware of how blessed I am to have what I have.

Today I received a phone call from an old friend. 

We have played phone tag for the past 6 months. And before that we had about a 5 year gap in our relationship. But even with the distant, when we talk, it's like we speak everyday.

Today, my friend informed me that she was pregnant. 
Not newly pregnant either, 21 weeks.

She respectfully let me know that she was unsure of how to tell me. That she knew it would be hard for me to hear, even though she also knew that I would be happy for her.

My friend knows me well. 
And I am grateful for her tender heart.
But it makes me sad.

I don't want to put "people on thin ice".
I don't want to be "that friend".

But at the same time, it is hard to hear.
It's hard to be happy and not sad.
It is
to feel left behind.

But I am glad we finally connected.
Glad we got to speak and that she shared her news with me.

So today, I am grateful and thankful for friends - new and old, distant and close.


Liz said...

Love you, Molly!! I love this blog and your open and honest self. I love it. Big Hugs!!

Olivia Stipe Manke said...

It's hard to get people to not think of us as "that girl" or not be on thin ice. And there'll always be people you'll be happy got pregnant (and those you won't be). (((hugs)))