In my quest for greater faith this month, I have had so many thoughts swirling in my head. But today, I came to a little bit of a realization, almost a resolution of sorts.
I am searching for answers. I am searching for a way to feel more faithful, to live more faithful, to think more faithful.
What I realized today - is that this search, my search - isn't faithful.
True faith is knowing, believing without doubts and without a perfect knowledge that everything is going to be okay. It is trust taken to a whole new level, because the outcome may not be exactly what you (or me) may want it to be.
My faith is great. At least I think that is great. Yet, I still have so much doubt. So how can I have faith or believe that I am being faithful if I am constantly questioning anything - everything.
I have to bring it back to the basics, to my foundation of faith. I have to reconnect and strengthen the things I DO KNOW. If I cannot strengthen my foundation, then as I (you, we) experience trials, our foundation will crumble.
So what do I know, what is my foundation built on?
I have to continue to make good choices.
I have to rely on the Spirit to guide me in those choices.
I know my Heavenly Father and my Savior have never abandoned me.
I know I am truly never alone.
I know my prayers are heard.
I know that my prayers are answered, even if I don't recognize those answers.
I know my children are with my Heavenly Father and His Son.
I know they are doing His work and constantly watching over my husband and I.
I know that one day, I will have them again.
I know that I will raise them - even if it's in the next life.
I know that my Heavenly Father gave me these trials because He knows I am strong enough to bear them.
I know that these trials will only last but a moment, in comparison to what I will be blessed with in the eternities.
I know that I must continue to be faithful, hopeful and patient.
I know, that one day, I will understand all of this.
I have so many things that I know. I have so many things that I don't need to search for - they are right there, in front of me.
I will continue to build and strengthen my foundation, because I don't want it to crumble one day.
After all, we have climbed mountains before, we will just do it again.
|On top of Half Dome in Yosemite|
"If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing. In all conditions, we can choose the right with the guidance of the Spirit. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ to shape and guide our lives if we choose it. And with prophets revealing to us our place in the plan of salvation, we can live with perfect hope and a feeling of peace. We never need to feel that we are alone or unloved in the Lord’s service because we never are. We can feel the love of God. The Savior has promised angels on our left and our right to bear us up. And He always keeps His word."
- President Eyring