This past weekend was General Conference. I love General Conference. I love it for so many reasons. I love it because I don't have to set my alarm. I can stay in my pajamas all day. I can snuggle my husband and pup.
But I also love it because I know I'm going to hear something that I need to hear. If I pay close enough attention, I know that one (or all) of the talks is meant for me.
I felt this way Sunday morning after Pres. Eyring spoke. At first I struggled with the words he was saying because I couldn't relate. But then he told a story, a story I can totally relate too.
His talk focused on "pavilions" in our life that separate us from the spirit, or get in the way of allowing us to live the gospel. He told a story about his daughter who was badly wanting a child and was miscarrying. Her miscarriages left her feeling angry, frustrated and far from the Lord.
I know those feelings.
He talked about the day she turned it over to the Lord, the day she accepted her plight and told the Lord she would do and go whenever and where ever the Lord directed her. She would accept His timing and His plan.
After all of her struggles she got pregnant. And then she got pregnant again.
She has removed her "pavilions".
It seems so easy, so it got me thinking.
What are my "pavilions"? What things do I need to remove to fully accept and hopefully receive my blessings?
I can't tell you how many days I have walked and talked with the Lord. We have pretty much daily heart to hearts while I walk Penny. I always feel so much closer to Him when I am out surrounded by the beauty of where I live.
What are my "pavilions"? What things or feelings are standing in my way?
This is what I am working on this week. This is what I am focusing my "faith" on.
As much as I know that I am "better than that" or even better than I was, I still harbor so much hurt, anger, frustration and sheer jealousy.
As honest as I can be, I am not always a "good person" when it comes to accepting others' successes. A lot of times I smile, while inside I am tearing apart.
I really try not to take things personally. I try not to believe that it's not because I don't read my scriptures enough or because I didn't (or don't) attend the temple enough. I try to not believe that it's not because I am not praying enough or hard enough.
So how do I remove my "pavilions"? How do I smile and mean it? How do I accept and leave it up to the Lord? How do I stop feeling angry, frustrated and most of all....jealous?
This is why I love General Conference. I am glad this talk was given.....it was meant for me.
(My new talk for the week.....another one by Pres. Eyring, read along with me.