A Good Life - Molly

Last night the company I work for hosted the first ever "employee summit". We mingled and snacked. We took a very crowded yoga class and heard from the management and corporate teams. All in all, it was a good night and it was fun to see other instructors that I don't come in contact with daily.

As instructors, we were posed with the question of WHY?

Why do we get up everyday and teach? Why do we give so much of ourselves to our students?
Why are we here?

Some people shared their WHYs. I was hoping and praying not to get called on. I knew if I was asked to share I would just be a big ball of tears.

But they did challenge us to share our WHY with someone.
I'd like to share it with you.

I teach because it's what I love to do.

I loved teaching school. I loved teaching kids.
But after my first miscarriage, my heart couldn't do it anymore.

Yoga challenged my mind and my body.
And it provided me with the outlet to teach.

MY WHY: Yoga is the only place where my body doesn't fail me. I want to give others that strength and trust in their own bodies.  

We were also asked to write down and share our WHATS.  A "what" is something that keeps us from fulfilling our WHY. We were asked to list 3.

Once again, I avoided the eyes of the speaker in hopes not to get called on. I was just too tearful.

But in fairness I will share with you, my WHATS are:

1) medical treatments - if we do IVF again, I have to give up my yoga, my teaching and put medical treatments and hopefully a baby, first.
 
2) other people's successes - right now lots of fellow teachers, corporate execs and students are pregnant. It is a constant battle to be genuinely happy and smile at their news. Then you see them stand on their head, twist, sit in the heat etc..and still have successful healthy pregnancies. It can be very disheartening and frustrating.

3) my own head - combine #1 and #2 and you can see where my head is sometimes at. It's hard to give so much of yourself to students when you don't feel good about yourself. Like a school teacher, you give, give and give and sometimes there is just nothing left. 

But if you boil my WHY and WHATs down, I am a pretty lucky girl.
I get a lot back from my job and my job allows me to give so much of myself.

It's a pretty good life.