The Playlist..... - Molly

The Playlist (to be continued, hopefully)

Before I say anything, I want to say THANK YOU. What amazing song selections you have all provided me. The best part was listening to the songs and thinking about how they were important to you as well - it made me feel closer to you all - so THANK YOU. 

Some songs did not make the list - for now. If this all works out, then the list will evolve. But for now, this is the playlist I have spent the last few days listening too. I listen in the car, on walks with Penny, while I get ready and sometimes when I am in bed on the computer (Jason makes me wear headphones). I always am in tears at one point or another, but I am blaming the hormones for that. 

 

We have OUR SONG for tomorrow. Even though we got so many wonderful suggestions, we went with a song that we had been listening to for the past few weeks. It wasn't until I started thinking that we needed a song that I really listened to the words. For us - it's perfect. 

The song is Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up 

If you take the lyrics really literally, it is more of a song about a boy and girl - yada, yada, yada. But to us - what we hear, what sticks out is....We aren't giving up on this. We will keep trying, even if this doesn't work. This journey has taught us so much. It has been a hard 3 years, a hard past 3 months - but it has been worth it. Every shot, pill, appointment has been worth it knowing that it might bring us closer to being parents. We will continue to pray and "look up" and hope that we are tough enough and that we are worth this blessing. I think we are. I know we are. 

So, tomorrow is the day. I can't believe it's here. I feel like I have been waiting forever, and now, here it is. So many feelings right now. Relief, anxious, nervous, exhausted, excitement, fearful, hopeful, faithful, positive, optimistic - the list goes on. I am all over the map right now. I will probably be that way for the next few days or weeks. 

As for tomorrow - one step at a time.

6am - ONE MORE YOGA CLASS - I need it.

1015am - check-in, blood draw (progesterone and estrogen) and acupuncture

12pm - transfer (guided by an ultrasound - we will try to get video or pics)

1215pm (ish) - more acupuncture

1pm - Home

Bed rest all Monday and Tuesday (with legs elevated). Wednesday is VERY LIGHT (aka, in bed as much as I can be). Thursday, back to normal. 

My dear friend Erica took Penny up to her house tonight to play with her pups until Thursday. Penny was so excited. She loves it up there. I miss her though. It's a bit lonely without her, but she is much happier and will get lots of exercise. Thanks Erica and Spencer.

Well, that's all for tonight my friends! I will be back tomorrow as soon as I come out of the haze of that Valium they are giving me. We will take pics and hopefully some video, so check back tomorrow.

Good Night!