Not much new to report. Sorry about that.
I went in for blood on Wednesday and had a minor panic. I was in debate of whether or not to test my HCG again. I had been in debates since my last HCG blood test. The nurse informed me that since my last two HCG tests had been high (with the second one more than doubling the first), they were only going to continue to monitor my progesterone and estrogen (which are stable and good) over the next few weeks.
As excited as I am that the doctors feel so confident, I am nervous and scared of what the ultrasound will bring. I have had an ultrasound where there is only an empty sac, so I need to be sure that the bat(s) are still in there. I need to know they are growing.
I keep feeling for something.
Is my chest tender? Tender enough to mean I am pregnant?
Is this headache a symptom of pregnancy?
Am I nauseous? Or nauseous enough to mean the pregnancy is progressing?
Does this yawn mean I am tired because I am pregnant?
Wow, I am really hungry. Is it because I am pregnant?
I could go on and on. I am just waiting for it to "hit me". I want to barely be able to keep my eyes open. And I want to be hungry. I want food adversions and waves of nausea.
Call me crazy, but bring it on!
Anyways, back to my appointment. I hesitated when the nurse was poking me. Then I asked if I needed another HCG test. The nurse drew a vial, unwrapped my arm and looked at my chart. "Wow, your HCG numbers were really good. You don't need another test. But if you want one, we will do it." I asked her if she thought it was a good idea. She then began to talk me off my ledge. "If this pregnancy wasn't progressing, you would know", she said.
It was exactly the same words my acupuncturist said to me on Monday at my appointment. He said the only things I needed to worry about was heavy cramping and lots of blood, otherwise I could relax. Again, he was talking me off my ledge.
So right there I made a decision. I have to stay off this ledge. I have to have faith and trust that the doctors are doing EVERYTHING they can.
So this week, today and right now, I am grateful for the wonderful people in my life who have talked me off my ledge. I have the feeling I will be back up there each and every day, week, month until I have my baby(ies) in my arms.
It's going to be a long 9 months.