Friday, April 13, 2012

"Normal"..... Haylee

Hi everyone!  Sorry I have been MIA as of late, but Miss Molly has had all the excitement going on!  Not a lot has changed on our front.  Still enjoying just being me and taking each day one at a time. 

It is kind of weird, this is the first time that my body has been 100% free of any hormones/fertility medication in about 2 years.  And by weird I mean good weird & sad weird because it makes you see the amount of time, however it allows me to see how far we have come.

After our egg retrieval my cycle came fast and furious and quite frankly mean.  It was bad.  I will leave it at that. 

The mean cycle left & I felt so good.  I could be "normal".  For the first time I didn't worry about anything fertility wise.  We just did our thing.  No checking, no planned sexy time, no "oh shit, what time is it did we miss a window"- you get my drift.  So, in all this fun I pretty much also let go of looking at the calendar to see when my next cycle should be coming.

April 1st came and went (I am still in denial it is April)...  then something internal reminded me about this thing we call a cycle.  I counted the days and then started to freak out.  Now, I have never been "normal" in this department, but things were quite a bit more scheduled when I was being tracked by my doctor and nurses.  Low and behold-  I was late (which really, in my case doesn't mean much).  However, my head did start to race.  You know, all the what if's and what not's started filling my mind.  I held off buying MORE pregnancy tests for a couple days.  After that I couldn't deny I needed to be checking and bought a few. 

I tested and it was negative.  I talked to Joe.  I mean wouldn't this be great if we were pregnant, but then what would we do about our cuties in the freezer??  Yes, my head went all kinds of places.  He set my mind at ease and told me not to let my mind get the best of me, to take one day at a time and just be- whatever is meant to happen will happen.  My husband is incredible.....
I moved on feeling comfortable to NOT test for the next 3 days. 

On day 34 I had to test again (I mean come on, can you blame me??) - yep, negative.  I decided to test the morning of day 36 and if it was negative with no cycle I would call CCRM and get a blood test for full confirmation.  At this point I am not going to lie, I was hoping a miracle had happened. 

Alas, day 36 started another "day 1" for me.
Ganesha- the remover of obstacles

Nothing about this is "normal" or easy.  However, I am still grateful. 

Next month though, I tell you this....  I will NOT waste any more money on pregnancy tests.  I will go straight to CCRM and get a blood test!

Much love to you all and a super big congrats & loves to my dear friend Molly.



Court said...

Isn't it nice when we get to be hormone free?!?

I have also underwent two surgeries for my uterine septum in September 2011 and February 2012. At my follow up HSG, there was still a slight curvature. I'm having a SIS next week because they saw fluid in my uterus at my last ultrasound.

I'm praying for you!

And congrats to Molly!! =)

yuko dambrosia said...

i just met your friend, suzanne, and she told me about your blog. you never cease to amaze me. i have tears in my eyes for happiness for molly. i will keep praying for you! hang in there. i hope i get to see you soon. :)