This week I have done entirely too much reading or shall I admit googling.... I have successfully dissected ALL forms of fertility abbreviations in the book. They range from TTC, BFN, BFP, POAS, DPO, FRER (did I catch a niner in there), AF and the list goes on & on. I get why people use these abbreviations, but I will not be using them.
However, if I were to use an abbreviation or "code word" right now it would be FA. Yes, if you guessed F-ing Annoyed, you win! Though Svaha does work about 90% of the time, now that I am just a couple days out from my blood test for pregnancy, it just isn't working. There are so many emotions and thoughts going through my mind right now. What is that pain or flutter in my girly parts, what does this or that feeling mean (must Google right away), what if this doesn't work- what will we do next?
I am tired (literally have not been sleeping) and frustrated. Much of this I will admit, I am bringing on myself. I should not be googling and reading about every little tiny detail. I should have also NOT tested this morning- seeing the "not pregnant" (this is NP in fertility abbreviations/code if you are curious) scream through the display window was crap city. More than likely this is an accurate reading. I will hold out hope for the actual blood test; it is the only thing that is 100%.
On a non Debbie Downer note I am looking so forward to spending Christmas with my family this year. Regardless of our outcome, it makes me calm down a bit to know I will be surrounded with their love and support.
More to come on Thursday......